"I should've died in that dream"

I look around me and everything is dark.... the room is pitch black... out of know where my fingers started glowing... and then the rest of my body. I said to myself i had to be dreaming.. or maybe i was just hallucinating from the massive amount of weed i just consumed, but im pretty sure im dreaming. well as im glowing the world around me looks like something directly out of the movie "Avatar" I mean the scenery looked amazing.. but there wasent anyone else here.. i was the only one... but then an army of alien controlled robots surrounded me... deep in my head i was thinking i was going to die... or wake up.. i really didnt know what the hell was going on or what to make of it... i started to levitate and i rose higher everything around me started to look more and more clearer.. this dream or hallucination started to make sense to me everything started to really come together.. as i looked around i started to see my thoughts everything that i think about .. but im seeing it in a very abstract and visual sense. Like everything from my head was brought to life... the robots.. the aliens... the love... the hate... the drugs... the amazing world i created... even death.. and the end of time.. as im looking directly at all my thoughts they seem to be in a battle with each other... the good thoughts vs. the bad... the love vs. the hate... the pain vs. the happiness, the aliens vs. the robots everything was at war. and i was at the center.. just seeing all my thoughts amazed me i wasent even paying attention to the fact that i was at war with myself...... as i fly around the world i created and see all the fucked up thoughts and all the loneliness and the tears i shed all the time... i can blatantly see that i need help or at least a good friend because inside im dying of despair my emotions are on fire .... my thoughts are at war and my philosophy is grounded i am truely losing my sanity one fucked up thought at a time... but what can i do about that.. how can i change it.... I CANT... in the dream/hallucination a huge nuclear explosion took place and everything was destroyed "I should've died in that dream" along with my inner self but i didnt i was still alive until i woke up... or went back to reality.............